At Viva Wellness we pride ourselves on being stigma fighters and advocating for a culture and society that prioritizes everyone’s mental health and wellness. This brings me to one of the biggest lies about mental health that I often encounter…
Your feelings don’t matter.
This is one of the most disruptive lies that has been passed down through generations. As a therapist, I’ve seen how it has negatively impacted mental health tremendously. Think about it, how would one go about addressing any concerns appropriately if you can’t give yourself the freedom to feel and identity the emotion underneath it?!
Our emotions always matter. ALWAYS. Feelings offer up important information that can help us decide the next steps to take in our lives. They can help us solve problems that cross our path and provide opportunities for us to improve upon our relationships.
Anger gets an incredibly bad rap, because it’s often used as a justification for abuse or violence. However, anger is a healthy and perfectly natural emotion. Specifically, anger is an umbrella emotion that precedes hurt and sadness. When we feel anger it’s usually because we think there has been an injustice. Moreover, we get angry because we’ve been hurt.
Instead of throwing away anger as a needless and destructive emotion, what might happen if we used it instead? What if we made anger productive?
It can lead us to problem solve.
Anger can lead us to getting the apology we deserve.
Anger can lead us to vote for candidates who actually reflect or views and values.
The same goes for any other emotion that we may feel. Sadness might mean we’re in need of more comfort and support. Jealousy might highlight our own deep-seated insecurities and self-doubt. Frustration might highlight our need for new steps on the path forward.
No matter the emotion, they all have value just like us. Instead of judging ourselves based on how we feel, let’s look at our feelings with genuine curiosity to see what that feeling means for us. How can we use them to your advantage? A feeling is a gift, not a liability! Odds are that exploration will lead you on a path towards peace and relief.
Jor-El is Co-Creator of Viva Wellness and a foodie and film buff. He most often writes about mental health, relationships, food and mindfulness. When he’s not busy working, he typically can be found lounging or walking around NYC with his pup Nomi.