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• First trans man to make a men’s US national team
• 6 time team member of Team USA in triathlon and duathlon
• Has won two national championships in race walking
• First trans athlete to compete in the Olympic trials in the gender in which they identify

Rachel and Jor-El talk to Chris about living his personal motto “be who you needed when you were younger”, advocating for youth athletes and leaving a legacy as a trans athlete. This episode is definitely not one to be missed!  

We also learn more about Chris’ background in sports and who his favorite Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle is. This is a good one filled with heart, humor and purpose.

To learn more about Chris’ advocacy work you can keep up with him on Instagram @TheChrisMosier and transathlete.If you enjoy our podcast please send feedback to us @vivawellnessnyc, @rachelgersten and @jorelcaraballo on Twitter and Instagram. And please leave a rating and review on iTunes so that we can grow our podcast even further. Thanks for listening!

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No worries, I got you. I have the secret. Yup, seriously.

Here’s how you increase your motivation to do something: you have to want to do it.

That’s it. I know, you hate me right now because that’s the simplest thing I could have possibly said. And yet… it’s true.

I’ll break it down a little bit more, before you start pelting me with things. You’re not going to want to do the thing, regardless of what it is, all day everyday no matter what the circumstances are. If you’ve been around these parts for a while (and if you haven’t, welcome!), you know I love running. Running and I have been in love for years. We’re committed, we’re solid, and it’s good. That being said, there are definitely days where I’m like “Seriously? I have to run THAT far for THAT long?” and I’m moving like a tortoise as I’m getting ready to go out the door. This usually happens when it’s insanely hot or raining, but sometimes I just get that UGH NO feeling on a random day.

But I still want to run. I don’t want to run, but I want to run. I want to run for whatever reason I have for running in the first place. Training for a race. Keeping my fitness up so I don’t want to die the next time I start training for a race. That’s important to me, so it gets me out there even when I really want to stay in bed. I don’t WANT to, but I want to. Small picture, big picture. There are days when it ebbs and flows but I get it done because I want to get it done. There’s meaning in it for me.

Don’t worry, it doesn’t have to be the great love of your life.

I get myself to do things all the time that I’m not madly in love with. How? You guessed it, because I want to do it, even if I don’t really want to do it. I don’t want to spend four hours on Quickbooks (hello, tax season) at ALL, but I do want to run a successful business and see Viva Wellness continue to grow. I don’t want to meal prep, but I do want to have snacks throughout the day. Being hungry at work is the literal worst. You get the idea. If your big picture “why” isn’t that important to you, then you’re not going to do it. You can only outsmart yourself for so long – if you know you don’t have to, and you don’t want to, you won’t.

So what’s the solution?

Take a look at that big picture “why” of what made you set a goal or decide to make a habit change in the first place. Is it really meaningful to you? Would something else be more impactful? Are you just doing something because you feel you “should”? Adjust your goal if necessary, and also know that it’s okay to just throw it out the window if it really doesn’t matter to you.

There will always be days when it’s hard to stick with anything.

I can’t emphasize that enough. It’s not all roses and sunshine and perfect 48 degree running weather. There will be days that you will struggle, take steps backwards, and even fail. It’s all okay. But if you find yourself consistently struggling to find the motivation to complete a task, check in with yourself by asking those questions. Chances are you don’t really want to be doing it – and that’s okay. Your answer to the “why” might reveal some heavier things going on for you (i.e.- I don’t really feel like I deserve to have this great thing I’m working towards), and that’s okay too. It might just be time to talk to a professional about what you’ve been feeling which is ALWAYS more than okay.

If you find yourself procrastinating, taking shortcuts, or just plain opting out, it’s not because there’s something wrong with you. It’s because there’s something wrong with the goal.

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Body Positivity versus Body Neutrality

I’ve been an advocate for body positivity in the past, and still am. I think there’s a lot of value in actively redirecting ourselves from the normal, negative scripts we have about our appearance with more positive and loving ones. After all, self-compassion is important!

But, I’ve also come to think that maybe body positivity isn’t the end all be all for us to develop the best relationship with our bodies. Maybe we can do “more.” This is where body neutrality comes in.

To me, body positivity is about cultivating the positive relationship with your aesthetics while body neutrality isn’t about appearances at all. It’s about developing a healthy relationship with your body that might focus on function and gratitude rather than form.

In many ways it’s more hepful and more realistic for some of us.

Sometimes being positive just feels really disingenuous and too unbelievable. That’s when body positivity has the opposite intended effect.

Why Body Neutrality is Important

We are more than what our bodies look like. Focusing on developing on a relationship with how we look is then, in some ways, as shallow as the ideals that we’re trying to fight against. Instead (or maybe in addition to), we can incorporate more body neutrality in our lives. That is, we can devote to intentionally devote some time to appreciating what our bodies can do rather than what they look like.

I’ve been more conscious about this in my own life, thanking my legs for carrying me up all the subway stairs I have to traverse in a given day. I thank my body at the end of every workout for letting me stick it through. I thank my body for giving me the ability to sit with people in their pain and help them move toward healing.

And for all that, I’ve continued to appreciate my body that much more.

Focusing not just on “gains” has helped me feel less anxious about how my body doesn’t stack up against the perfectly sculpted Instagram influencer. It’s helped me spiral less on the thought traps of thinking I’m not good enough because I don’t look like some popular celebrity. Simply put, it’s mentally freeing. Maybe body neutrality could be for you as well.

When is the last time that you thanked your body?

Maybe it’s time to start.

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Marathons are hard.

“Duh” should be the first thing that came to your mind here, but hear me out. I have a confession. I got a little arrogant. I’ve run a lot of half marathons (30 and counting…) but this was only my third marathon. The half marathon made me cocky. I can bust out 13.1 miles at a drop of a hat, assuming I’m not trying to run down a PR. My “A” goal for this year’s marathon was to run a pace that doesn’t feel like a huge effort on 99% of days, including running a half marathon. As much as I took this training seriously, I’ll admit I didn’t respect the marathon distance and how difficult it is even if you’re running at what feels like a snail’s pace.

A marathon isn’t just two half marathons. It literally just is, but it’s a lot more strenuous than that. It’s a huge jump. It feels like five half marathons, and unlike 13.1, there’s only so much you can do to predict how your body is going to handle running that far.

So first things first, I learned to remember that the marathon distance is a beast in and of itself. It’s hard. Really hard. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the respect you deserve, 26.2. I won’t make that mistake again.

You are what you do on your worst day.

Success is easy when everything goes well. It’s not a huge effort to be nice to someone when you’re in a good mood, you’ve slept well, and life is generally going your way. It’s pretty seamless to accomplish what you want to when all things fall into place.

But what do you do when that’s not the case? When the chips or down, the going gets tough, or whatever other cliche you want to use – what do you do? I feel like this is a question that only gets answer when you’re in the moment. You can guess, but you never really know.

You don’t know how you’re going to react to your body suddenly rebelling against you on the downhill of the Queensboro Bridge when you’re 10 miles from the finish line. It’s hard to predict how you’ll respond when that pain gets worse, and your “A” goal goes out the window.

Spoiler: all of that happened. I didn’t run the same race in the last 10 miles as I did in the first 16. The first 16 was a party. The last 10 was me fighting back tears and gritting my teeth and refusing to walk because even though I wasn’t hitting the time I wanted, I could still run my best marathon time as long as I put one foot in front of the other.

So I did. I could have walked it in and still crossed the finish line. Don’t get me wrong – that would have still been an accomplishment! That’s especially true given the fact that I was in a LOT of pain. But I didn’t. I ran. Slowly. The slowest I’ve run in years. I ran until I crossed that finish line 16 minutes faster than I ever have before.

Now I know what happens when I’m not at my best. I didn’t hit the goal I wanted, but I am so proud to confirm that I am a person who doesn’t give up or let myself phone it in. I’m proud that I’m a person that readjusts goals when necessary and lets that be okay. I love that I am a person who can cry in front of thousands of people when she enters Central Park because that was the moment I knew I could do this. I’m also pretty happy that I am a person who can also pull it together in order to actually finish the race.

You can be proud of yourself and mad at yourself at the same time.

So remember how I said I was proud? I hope so, because it was like a second ago. I’m also mad. I had my sub 4 hour goal even after I was in a ton of pain. I had it until mile 22. Even looking back, I knew I couldn’t have done better than I did that day. But that doesn’t mean I’m not mad about it.

I’ve watched a lot of seasons of sports in which my teams don’t with the championship. Whenever they lose, I always say that I’d rather them lose a playoff series 4-0 than 4-3. I’d rather them lose a game 7-0 than 2-1. It somehow feels easier for me to accept defeat if it doesn’t feel like there was a chance. I think if I had lost my time goal earlier, I’d be less upset about it. It was SO close. I know I have it in me. I just need everything to come together.

I’m running the 2020 NYC Marathon. That was decided a while ago, and even the super painful day I just had doesn’t change that. So I know there’s next year. I know I can do it. I already have a plan of what I can do in the next year to get stronger. But next year is far away, and I could have done it this year. It just didn’t work out. I’m proud of myself for what I did instead, but man, it still sucks.

Failing makes you better.

Here’s the thing about failure. It gives you a little bit of a kick in the ass. Remember when I said I already have a plan to get better? That’s because I didn’t get where I wanted to be this year. If I did, I probably would have kept everything the same. I wouldn’t have felt a push to grow.

There were two big race goals I had for 2019 that I didn’t achieve. I wanted to run a sub 1:45 half marathon and a sub 4 marathon. I came close to the first one (SECONDS away. Talk about mad.) and pretty close to the second – but I’m not there. Sure, I’m disappointed. But I also now want them more.

I have way more of a drive for next year’s version of those races than I did this year because I failed. I set some big goals, and they didn’t work out on the first try. Most things in life don’t. That doesn’t mean you don’t try again, and that’s something I’ve had to remind myself is okay.

I’ll be trying again – and I’ll be trying better. Thanks, failure.

NYC Marathon, thanks as always for an amazing day and for making me a better person each time we meet. Same time next year. I’ll be ready.

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I know, that sounds ridiculous, but I actually have no chill.

A few years back, I made a couple of attempts to run my first sub-2 hour half marathon that didn’t end as planned. I missed it by 2 minutes at the Brooklyn Half and was on track to get there at the America’s Finest City Half in San Diego before I got baked by the sun at mile 10 and destroyed by the mountain they tried to pass off as a hill at mile 11. I was signed up for the Staten Island Half, and my plan going in was to just run it as a “fun run” and try again for the elusive sub-2 the following year. Well, I ran a 1:58. Because I have no chill. As you can see, easy days don’t come naturally to me.

On the surface, it doesn’t seem like I had any type of failure at the Staten Island Half.

99% of people will probably look at that as a massive success – and it WAS. But, a little of that came with getting lucky. Lucky that I didn’t get injured or burnt out after racing two hard half marathons three months apart. That was a lot for me back in the day. It worked out, but there’s a lot of value in sticking to the idea of keeping it easy. As more research comes out about the importance, I’m doing my best to stick to it.

This isn’t just hard in running – it’s also hard in life.

Lemme paint a picture for you. You’re feeling overwhelmed, tired, stressed out or all of the above. You then say to yourself something like, “I’m not making any plans on Sunday”. But as the days creep towards Sunday, the supposed day of rest, you find yourself making a mental checklist of everything you can then take care of because you aren’t actually “doing something”. Suddenly you’re not resting, but Marie Kondo-ing your closet, doing a deep clean of the kitchen, clearing your inbox, and catching up on phone calls to family.

Sure, you may not have left the house, but you didn’t have any chill. Clearly, I can relate.

If you need a break, take a break. An actual break, not a super busy day masquerading as a rest day. Just because you’re not brunching with friends or going to a workout class doesn’t mean you’re resting. Not all free time is created equal.

In order to get the benefits of resting, you actually have to – wait for it – REST.

I understand the impulse to fill up free time and to get things done. I have to fight it on a daily basis, both on the run and on the go. It’s especially hard when I don’t feel sluggish and I’m still being told by whatever training plan I’m following that I need to take it slow. It’s frustrating, and yet so necessary.

There’s no rule that you need to wait until you’re falling over to slow things down.

Taking breaks throughout the week, month, or even everyday, can make it so you don’t get to the point where you’re so exhausted you can’t leave the couch. It can help you avoid getting sick as well. That’s usually the moment when we finally give in and sit down for more than five seconds, right? You don’t have to wait until you’re falling apart to take care of yourself.

The biggest takeaways?

1. If you’re taking it easy, actually take it easy. Find a different day to tackle all those things on your to do list that never seem to get done.
2. You don’t have to wait until you’re falling over to give yourself some downtime. Doing it as a preventative measure can actually prevent you from stocking up on the decongestants – especially as we get into the colder months.
3. You absolutely can run a PR on the Staten Island Half course.

Class dismissed.

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I swear I have a point. I want us all to play that game now, except with our healthy habits.

If you’re reading this, you’re either a close friend or family member of mine (hi, loved one!) or you’re interested in wellness. If we’re assuming the latter, that means you listen to ALL the health advice and take it to heart right? You never do anything you aren’t supposed to? Hahaha yeah me either.

So let’s confess. Ready? I’ll go first.

I’M RACHEL AND THERE’S AN IPAD IN MY BED.

Sorry if you were expecting something more scandalous, but if you’ve heard anything about sleep hygiene you know one of the top rules is no electronics at bed time. Well I’m here to tell you, I break it every single night and not because I’m such a good sleeper that it doesn’t matter. I’m actually a terrible sleeper. And yet, the iPad is in my bed.

I’m not just ignoring advice on principle.

I absolutely believe the sleep experts when they say I am not doing the right thing. But I also know myself, and what works for me.

One of the reasons I’m bad at sleeping is because that’s when all of my thoughts decide to come out. It’s not that I’m ignoring a ton of underlying stress or deep dark feelings. For whatever reason, my brain just likes to fixate on some pretty dumb and pointless things once the lights go off. You know what helps? Playing a show on Hulu on my iPad and letting myself fall asleep as I’m distracted by that. The Golden Girls, in case you were wondering.

Yes, I’ve tried to go without it.

The first time I heard that electronics and bedrooms do not mix I did my best to abide by that rule. It didn’t go well. I slept worse. I understand that might not make logical sense, but do I want to be “right” or do I want to sleep? Sleep. I want to sleep. I do put the screen face down so I’m not seeing the light, just hearing the sound, if that helps? Probably not much. But it’s the best I got because again, I WANNA SLEEP.

The moral of the story? It’s okay if your healthy living isn’t perfect.

I also refuse to eat whole wheat bagels. Yes, I know whole wheat bread is generally better for you than white bread. But my white bread bagel is the hill I will die on. It is NOT the same if it is whole wheat, and I love bagels. And guess what? It’s fine.

You can’t do everything.

If it’s easier for you to keep your electronics out of your bed – amazing. If you think a whole wheat everything bagel tastes the same as a regular everything bagel – great. You’re wrong, clearly, but I’m glad you can make the healthy swap!

There is entirely too much health and wellness advice out there, and some of it conflicts with each other, making things even more confusing. I know I’m not alone in being someone who if I’m going to do something, I want to do it right. But if you view health in the best way possible, it’s a lifestyle, not something that you do for a short period of time. Your entire life cannot be perfect, regardless of how hard you try. Therefore, healthy living can’t be either.

So the next time you think of a healthy swap or a best practice for your wellness that you just can’t get behind or seem to stick to regardless of what you do, try to let it go. Do what you can, when you can. And when you can do more, do more. Healthy is lifelong process and should never be a quick fix, despite what is often marketed to you.

If you’re generally focused on being the best version of yourself that you can, you’re probably already in a good place. You can let some things fall by the way side in favor of the practices you’re able to keep up and don’t feel like you’re constantly fighting against yourself.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be the best you can.

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