But can it go too far?

Ugh. This is why we can’t have nice things, right? First there’s this great movement encouraging people to take care of themselves and to make sure they’re prioritizing relaxation, down time, and their own health. Now you have people talking about if we’re doing too much.

Like so many other things, self care and treating yourself can be a slippery slope – if you let it. I feel as if I say this all the time, but the key word here is balance. The trick is making sure self care is really caring for yourself, rather than just an excuse to do whatever you want. What’s the difference? It can actually be hard to tell. That line is blurry sometimes – but there are a few ways you can check yourself to make sure your self care practices are actually helpful.

It’s beneficial to your (physical and mental) health.

This doesn’t mean that self care isn’t about eating dessert or having a second glass of wine. Sometimes the best self care is a cookie. There are times when you’re super stressed out, and one of your favorite foods really is the answer because it’s something enjoyable in the middle of a day that is anything but.

Same goes for a much needed happy hour with a friend that lets you vent and agrees with all of your complaints. You know who I’m talking about – the one who decides that she too hates your boss, even though they’ve never met? That’s self care – when those indulgences actually make you feel better afterwards. Not just “I like wine” – but “I had one more drink than I wanted to, but we were having SUCH a good time and I feel way less anxious about life”.

Along the same lines, did that high priced group fitness class completely de-stress you, and now you’re feeling refreshed and ready to deal with your toddler at home who just. will. not. sleep. in. their. own. bed? Then it was totally worth it. But did you splurge on that class, only to leave feeling pretty much the same way as you went in? That might not be a self care activity you want to repeat.

The ends justify the means.

You’ve dedicated your blood, sweat, and tears for weeks on a project for work. You stressed out, you lost sleep, and now it’s finally over and it went SO WELL. You need a reward right? RIGHT! Of course you do. So you go out and buy this amazing pair of shoes that you’ve had your eye on for months. You always thought they were too expensive, but YOLO right? (Do people still say YOLO? Either way. You’ve earned them!).

Except – they really were too expensive and now you’re struggling financially at the end of the month. Your work project is over, but now there’s extra added stress because you’re short on cash. In retrospect, it doesn’t seem like those shoes really provided the self care effect after all.

When choosing a way to “treat yo self” after a big win, make sure you’re not choosing something that’s going to end up making your life harder later on. It kind of defeats the purpose, even if those shoes do look super cute.

It isn’t harmful.

Remember those really beneficial glasses of wine you had with your bestie after a rough day? If you’re doing that every night, and waking up with a hangover every morning, then those after work drinks aren’t really self care. Even though it might feel good in the moment, if it’s harming you in the long term, it’s time to re-think whether or not it’s actually something you should be doing. We all get off track every once in a while, but take a look at your regular routine. Are you de-stressing with activities that aren’t really benefitting you at all? Self care is supposed to improve our well being – and in order for that to happen, our coping skills and what we use to unwind need to be more on the healthier side than not.

It actually works for you.

When you think of self care, a few activities probably come to mind. Yoga, meditation, bubble baths, and sleeping in. That’s what I always think of, whether or not those things would really help me feel better and cope with life. You might see tons of pictures of bubble baths on Instagram posts about self care, but if baths aren’t your thing, then they aren’t going to provide you with all those amazing benefits. Do what works for you. Maybe that’s yoga, and maybe that’s a dance party in your living room. Maybe it’s cooking. Perhaps you can lose yourself in one of those adult coloring books for hours and come out a new person.

Don’t get caught up in what you feel you should be doing, but instead, focus on what actually relaxes and de-stresses you. What makes you happy, even if things aren’t going so well? Do more of that.

Stressed, anxious, or overwhelmed? Need more help with self care? Want to talk about the best songs to dance around your apartment to? Contact us. 

What do you do for self care? Tell us in the comments!

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I’m a licensed therapist and ever since I first came into contact with psychology (formally) in high school, I always envisioned a center where people could come for all things body, mind and spirit. Both life and professional experience have taught me that the disconnect between these parts of us are completely artificial. Viva Wellness was born out of a desire to strengthen the connections between mind, body and spirit and to help enable others to live richer, more fulfilling lives.

“Body, mind, and spirit are not separate parts. Instead they are more like lenses, or ways of focusing. The awareness of oneness, and the peace it brings, can be nurtured by anyone who is interested.” Marcey Shapiro, Freedom From Anxiety: A Holistic Approach to Emotional Well-Being

I take wellness seriously, but I’ll also admit that I’m not the most physically active person aside from walking my little dog Nomi and taking random adventures around the city. That means that I’m on this journey with you too!  I think that wellness is all about creating balance and finding a plan that works for you. When I’m not working with clients you can usually find me catching some new film or Netflix show or writing.  And of course, playing with that lovable pup of mine.

Here at the Viva Wellness blog we hope to share with you a lot of great information. We hope to share and inform about food, mental health and all things wellness. We will share some personal experiences, as well as bring you helpful information rooted in research and experience to help you apply some changes to your life.

And of course, if you’re looking to work either myself or Rachel, we encourage you to visit Viva Wellness and sign up to our contact list so that you’ll be informed when launch day happens. We’re very excited about sharing more with you!

Live well. Be well!

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So why Viva Wellness and this blog?

For years I had one of those hypothetical ideas that never really went away. You know, something like “If I won the lottery…” or “If I could quit my job and do anything I wanted…”. Jor-El and I would talk about this plan and just think it would be so great to implement, but I’d be lying if I ever thought of it as an actual possibility. Fast forward to late 2017. I had recently read “The Happiness Project”, and at one point it asks the reader what they would be doing if they could do anything, assuming money wasn’t a factor. Viva Wellness was my answer to that question. I was already unhappy with my full time job, and when I told a friend about the idea, her response was “Why aren’t you doing that?”. I didn’t have a good answer. I told Jor-El it was time and he hopped on board, which he often does when I come to him with crazy (yet amazing) ideas. He’s pretty great that way.

I feel truly passionate about helping people live healthier lives. I do this often with my closest friends and family, whether they like it or not, so I figured it was time I spread the love to a larger audience. I believe that physical health and mental health actually can’t, and shouldn’t, be separated despite the fact that healthcare today desperately tries to do so. I believe that people should receive services in a supportive, empathetic, community environment. Making healthy changes can be hard, and it’s overwhelming. There’s so much information out there, and it’s difficult to make sense of it all and figure out what works for you. I believe that more people would live healthier lifestyles if they felt they capable, and I hope that we can do that for as many people as possible.

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