The point of those questionnaire was to help us find our perfect career path – something we loved to do and would be excited about for years to come. The message so many of us are given from an early age is that you should love your job. That’s the goal. What’s that saying again? Love what you do and you’ll never have to work a day in your life. That’s the goal, right?

It’s a privilege to get to explore and figure out which career you’ll love. Not everyone has that ability, and it’s a great position to be in.

But, even if you have the option to find something you love, it might not be a realistic option. Newsflash: that’s okay.

In full disclosure, I’m definitely one of those people who sought out a career that allowed me to work hard and love it at the same time. I used to think that anyone who didn’t feel that way about their job was at a clear disadvantage. That is, until I had a conversation with a friend that made me think about whether or not loving your job really is necessary.

I asked this friend, shortly after they got a new job, what their “plan” was. Or in other words, the infamous “Where do you want to be in five years?” question. Their response? “I’m going to work at this job until I don’t want to, and then I’ll try to find a job that will pay me more money”. I asked what happens after that. “Then I’ll try to find another job that will pay me more money than that one”. Definitely a different perspective than mine – but is it wrong?

The short answer is no.

Loving your job isn’t mandatory. Trying to love your job might even be more stress and trouble than it’s worth. It’s okay if your job is simply the thing that allows you to do the other things you are passionate about. Maybe work isn’t something you love to do, but funds the rest of your life. Perhaps you aren’t excited to go to work, but you’re not dreading it either. You might just be someone who works as a means to an end – it allows you to do fun things like pay rent and eat food, as well as the really fun things like go on vacation and enjoy hobbies that can’t become an occupation.

If that’s you, it’s okay to stop fighting it.

Trying to be something you’re not or feel something you don’t is exhausting and beyond stressful. Instead of feeling badly that you don’t love your career/job, just accept how you do feel. It’s just a job, and it’s fine. If you’re someone who loves what they do, great! But if you aren’t, there’s nothing wrong with you and there’s no reason to try to fit into a box you don’t want to be in.

You can ignore all of those societal messages of “love what you do” if they don’t work for you. Ironically, it’ll probably make you happier at work and everywhere else.

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Lesson 1: Entrepreneurship is More Emotionally Taxing Than You Think

Often, when people talk about starting their own business and becoming their own boss, the excitement of creating your own thing is so overwhelmingly positive. But one thing that I wasn’t prepared for when starting a business was the emotional toll of entrepreneurship.

It’s great to be able to work for yourself (and/or work with a partner) but it’s tough being the person in charge. There are ALWAYS decisions to make, calls to be had and relationships to maintain. Business ownership is hard work and not just because the tasks themselves are hard. Most often, it’s the tedious nature of some tasks, the moments when you have to sacrifice fun in time order to make the right choice for your business. That can leave you feeling frustrated, burnt out or even overwhelmed at times, making self-care that much more important.

Lesson 2: Time is a Very Different Beast

What many people don’t realize about entrepreneurship is that it completely changes your concept of time and time management. When you don’t have the structure of a regular 9-5 job it’s very easy to slip in the danger zone of working absolutely every minute that you can. This is both a gift…and a curse.

This “always on” mentality is taxing to your mental health, but the flexibility of entrepreneurship also enables me to get small tasks done on the fly. If I have five minutes between meetings or something else, I can crank out some small task on my to-do list. When I’m watching the Yankees play on the TV I can visit with my latest blog post during the 7th inning stretch.

The down side is that it often feels like all my time could be business time. It takes even more emotional energy to be intentional in creating “off hours” in which I do nothing related to work. Even in those moments I find myself inspired and making notes out of the blue of new ideas for Viva Wellness and cool projects that we could work on.

Lesson 3: Entrepreneurship Can Also Be Isolating

Along with those long, weird hours it becomes a lot more difficult to make time for pure socialization. I thought that I had good time management skills before, but owning a business has shown me that I really knew nothing!

Carving out time to spend time with friends and loved ones, both near and far, has become increasingly difficult. While I’m not the best at this by any means (my introvert side also demands significant rest!) it’s something I try to be conscious of. It’s a continual work in progress.

What Being an Entreprenuer Means to Me

Being a business owner isn’t easy, but to me it first and foremost means FREEDOM. Owning a business means more (long term) financial freedom but also for more creative control and flexibility. Being able to create projects that serve our purpose allows me to work in ways that I often felt held back in when I wasn’t a key decision maker in my previous jobs in the 9 to 5 world.

It also means being able to work with a pretty awesome business partner and cultivate relationships with people, businesses and organizations who I respect and admire. And that absolutely means the world to me.

Entrepreneur life isn’t for everyone – and that’s not because it requires a certain level of expertise or education but more so because it requires sacrifice, incredible vulnerability and taking many risks. To me, it’s been worth it so far but ask me again in 5 years!

But in all seriousness, the trip into business ownership shouldn’t be taken lightly, but as I’ve been on the precipice of big creative decisions in my life I was always encouraged by some helpful folks to follow my intuition. If you’re on the fence about starting your own business, take this post and your gut into consideration and see where your journey takes you next.

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Why does taking time to celebrate progress feel so self-indulgent?

IT’S NOT!

Day to day we have so many competing responsibilities. Hell, trying to be mindful about your health alone can feel like a full time job. That’s not to mention managing the relationships in your life and just simply having fun. Life can be A LOT.

It’s no wonder that many of us find ourselves struggling to find energy and motivation to keep moving forward. We’re often stretched too thin and generally continue to pile on to our daily task lists, however that’s not healthy for us. I would say “slow down!” or “take on less!” but let’s be honest you’re probably not going to do that.

Take some time to reflect

Instead, try to pause every so often just to acknowledge your progress and praise yourself for your hard work. It doesn’t mean that you have to buy yourself something extravagant (although that’s always nice too!). It just means that it’s OK for you to pause for a second and pat yourself on the back. You deserve it. I’m giving you permission. Go ahead…no, I mean right now.

We live in a world that’s largely defined by productivity and how much one can get done. On a superficial level it’s about reaching new heights (especially professionally), but on a deeper sometimes it feels like we can’t ever be good enough as-is. It seems like we always have something to prove. That stinks.

Taking time to acknowledge your progress, no matter how small it is, it’s important to take a moment to tell yourself, “Hey, you did a good job. I’m proud of you!”

How often do you actually do that? I know I don’t do it enough.

Not only is acknowledging your progress good for mental health and self-esteem, but positive reinforcement is also good for sustaining behavioral change over time.

Praise might be the motivation hack you’ve been waiting on. Don’t forget to use it.

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So we all know what it is, right? That feeling when you’re in a situation that you feel like you shouldn’t be in because you don’t deserve it. It could be a new job, admission to your top college or grad school, or an honor bestowed upon you that you’re like “Wait, you picked ME?!”. It’s really easy to overlook all the things that make us amazing, so it can be a struggle to understand how everyone else in the world doesn’t also overlook them.

Feeling imposter syndrome is real and valid. We all experience self doubt and insecurities. I don’t know a lot of people who don’t doubt themselves more than they doubt others or are their own harshest critic. But at the same time, that doesn’t mean we have to listen to that feeling (or any self deprecating feeling, for that matter!).

So how do you get past it?

The first step is allowing yourself to feel it. It’s easy to make the mistake of trying to change your feelings, but that’s almost always impossible. It’s also not necessary! You feel how you feel. Who’s to say that’s wrong? We feel something for a reason, whether it’s rational or not. In fact, emotions are often the total opposite of rational. But they are what they are.

Instead, manage your reaction.

When it’s raining, you grab an umbrella rather than trying to stop the rain. Or at least, I hope that’s your reaction. When you feel something, change how you manage it rather than trying to change the feeling. It’s way easier (but not EASY!) and almost always yields a better outcome.

Fake it ’til you make it.

The other way people throw their energy in the more difficult direction is when they try to make a change in their life. Let me ask a question (not that you can say no) – what do you think changes first, thoughts or actions? Or in other words, when you’re trying to exercise more frequently, do you wait until you feel like exercising more frequently or do you do it until you feel like it? If you’re in the second category, congratulations! If you’re in the first category, you’re human! Most of the time, our default is to wait until we feel or think differently a situation to do something differently. The trick is, our actions can affect and change how we think about something.

An example, and because I have to find a way to incorporate running into every blog post, you often don’t feel like a runner until you…. run. If you wait to feel like a runner before you go on your first run, you’re probably never going. But if you change your actions, your thoughts and feelings often follow. There are of course exceptions to this, and some things you should never push through if you’re not feeling it. Imposter Syndrome isn’t one of them.

So how do you beat it? Do whatever you feel like you can’t do. Be in that meeting, and be in it loudly (well, office appropriate loudly). Run that race. Join that team. Apply for that program. Ask for a raise. Doing all of the things that an imposter WOULDN’T do is what makes you start to feel like you aren’t one. It’s okay if your feelings don’t match up to the actions and it feels off at first. Do it anyway. They’ll catch up, I promise.

And when you think “who am I to _____?”, follow it up with the question “who am I NOT to?”.

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Use the Power of Sound

Personally, I’m a big fan of music I often enjoy listening to music when I’m sitting down at the computer and working. In fact, right now there’s an arrangement of classical musical pieces streaming in my headphones. I just write better when that’s the case!

Both music and other sounds can be incredibly helpful to create a zen workspace. If you find contemporary music too distracting, opt for instrumental tracks or ambient music.  I also think that just sounds, like soothing waves on a beach or white noise can be incredibly soothing too. At the end of the day it’s about finding what works for you. And if you work in an open office space with cubicles, see what the company culture is like regarding the use of headphones. My experience is that most people don’t mind if you’re not missing out on important conversation regularly.

Scent Can Make a Big Impact Too

No matter your personal preferences, we know that scent is a huge emotional trigger for people. It is one of the strongest ways that our brains connect to memories. This can help us, in a sense, emotionally re-experience some past good times and moods emotionally and physiologically. If we use scent intentionally in our office we can create a zen workspace.

Diffusers are a great option for creating a more zen workspace if you’re looking to switch up the energy in your space. Natural ones, with the use of reeds, require no energy but scents can dissipate quickly. Electronic diffusers offer a great deal of control (you can time the distribution, etc.) but tend to output a pretty strong scent so they may not be best for open workspaces where coworkers might not agree with your tastes.

Another option to use scent at work to create a more zen workspace is to use a rollerball. These handy little canisters pack a powerful punch and they very easily can fit into your pocket or a bag. I recommend rolling it on the inside of your wrists as often as you’d like and taking about 30 seconds to breathe in the scent. This is less invasive to others around you, but can really help calm and soothe you. This is one of my personal favorites.

Curate Your Visual Field

Some workspaces have very specific rules and guidelines on what you can and cannot do in terms of decorating your space. I’ve seen workspaces where people use desks interchangeably depending on the day. That kind of setup can make personalizing your space a bit more challenging.

But, as I mentioned earlier, we spend a lot of time at work. Wouldn’t it be comforting to have things in your space that bring you peace, comfort or even humor?  Why not put up a picture or two of your loved ones or put a meme as your computer wallpaper that you see anytime you minimize windows?  Hang pictures or quotes that you like if you can and choose desk accessories that you actually like and remind you of the people you love. Remember that paper weight you got for your birthday from you dear friend? Let it live on your desk even if you don’t have a functional need for it. Chances are seeing it there every day will help remind you of that person and the good times associated with them.

Bring in A Bit of Life

Whether it be by incorporating plants in your office or bringing in pets, there have been studies that both help combat stress in the workplace. Unfortunately, not all workplaces are welcoming to pets but plants are pretty much a safe bet in most environments. Having plant life in your office will not only help create a zen workspace but could also help provide you with purer air conditions too.

Want to learn more tips on creating a better workplace for you and improve your career? Contact us to set up your career coaching appointment today!

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Here are 4 Tips to Achieve Work-Life Balance:

Manage Expectations & Ask for Help

If you’re feeling particularly overwhelmed, don’t shy away from asking for help. A lot of us take great pride in our work and our ability to get things done. Everyone loves a boss, right?  But, you can’t always deliver a 100%, otherwise you would be a unthinking, unfeeling machine. It’s OK to redistribute work sometimes and ask for support from those around you. Chances are co-workers will be glad to help you out especially if they know they can rely on you when times get a little tough for them too.

Tackle Tough Tasks Head On & Then Cool Down

Many of us, at least once in our lives have been on the other end of a mountain of difficult tasks. Often, it is the workload that keeps us from achieving the work-life balance that we so desperately need.  Managing your time effectively can make a world of difference when you’re trying to achieve true work-life balance.

First, it’s important to stop and take notice the next time you’re feeling overwhelmed. The project can wait 3 minutes while you pause to breathe and re-assess how you’re feeling. Checking in with yourself throughout your day will certainly help manage your energy and time more effectively. Sometimes just powering through can make you drag yourself through tasks, making you feel worse AND keeping you from being as productive as you would like.

With that, it’s best to sit down and create a to-do list once you arrive to your office ranking the toughest tasks of the day to the easiest. In essence, prioritize! Tackle the tough stuff first in the day when you know that you will have a lot of energy and work your way down that list.  With this practice you can leave the office at the end of the day knowing that you worked through your toughest tasks and fast-approaching deadlines, even if you didn’t make your way all through the list. The important pieces will be knocked out first and when your energy or focus starts to wane you can take on those smaller tasks. You may also need to refuel with a nice healthy, snack.

Take a Break – Your Health Depends On It

In an article titled, “Americans Are Too Afraid and Stressed to Take Days Off from Work” author Jillian Berman reported that about 40% of Americans don’t plan to use all their paid time off this year.  That’s a high number!  While some of us may feel that our jobs really need us for our excellent work, as humans with full lives we also need (and deserve) a break.  Taking time off for a vacation is a simple and obvious way to give yourself much-needed recuperation. While Americans have gotten slightly better about taking time off, we are still working ourselves way too much, which can lead to a lot of negative health effects over time.

And don’t worry, if traveling isn’t your thing, or not cost-effective for the moment, consider a staycation and visit some local sights in your city or town and catch up on some much-needed leisurely reading. Any time off will do your body, and mind, good.

Take a Tech Vacation

Over the past few decades, technology has become an increasingly bigger part of our daily lives.  That can often leave us feeling stressed out and overworked if we spend time away from the office answering emails and taking calls. Every job can stand a little down time during the day so if you struggle to step away from your gadgets for fear that you might miss something, try starting with an intentional 15 minute tech break and gradually increase your time until you reach a time you’re comfortable with. You may even want to take a nice long bath to ensure you can’t hear or see that phone of yours.

While everyone’s work circumstances differ greatly I hope that these simple tips might help you gain a little more balance in your daily life.

If you need help achieving work-life balance, career coaching may be for you! Contact us to learn more about how Viva Wellness can help.

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