Being able to shift our perspective towards a more positive bend is helpful. This shift serves a functional purpose to keep us moving forward. This is helpful, of course, but we should also not be shaming all the “not so good feelings” we’re experiencing right now. Sadness, panic, fear, hopelessness and grief are all appropriate responses to what’s happening.

But, sometimes we need a mental break from those feelings. We need some other perspectives to keep us going. Here are 8 affirmations I’ve been spending time with over the past few weeks. I hope you find them helpful.

This is not normal and it’s OK that I’m not acting normal.

Try not to internalize the gaslighting that’s happening on the news. This is an unprecedented global issue and trying to be ‘normal’ is an unreasonable expectation right now. Plus, normal has always been overrated.

I am doing the best I can.

We can only do what we can right now. Maybe that means being productive, maybe it doesn’t. All that actually matters is that you’re trying your best.

Creating helps me feel in control.

When so much of our lives feels out of control and uncertain, taking control and creating anything: an experience, playlist or puzzle, can be grounding.

I don’t have to feel guilty for having the resources I do have.

It’s OK to have enough resources to be OK during this time. If you have more than you need, consider how you might help support others if you want – whether that’s emotionally or financially. Either way, having right now doesn’t mean that you can’t feel good about how fortunate you are.

It’s OK for me to experience joy and other positive emotions during this time.

There is no one right way to feel during a pandemic. Relish the moments of joy and ease that you do have. You’re allowed to feel good and hopeful.

There is no right way to survive the pandemic.

We’re all doing the best we can to survive. This may not look like your normal way of being and that’s OK. Extend yourself the grace of flexibility and adaptability.

Taking care of myself helps me better take care of others.

Running yourself into the ground and taking nonessential risks is not helpful to your wellbeing. Taking care of yourself allows you to be more present for others.

Being productive is not a sign of personal worth.

It’s OK if you don’t have the capacity to work extra hard, start a new business or learn a new language. Productivity was never an indicator of worth and still shouldn’t be.

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That being said, no practice or skill is a one size fits all. Some things work for others, while other skills just don’t connect with some people. This idea is something that I often talk about with clients in my practice. We always try to find the most helpful tools for them. It’s not enough to say “just do this” and forget about it. That just doesn’t work.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on the idea of embracing mindfulness when times are tough. It’s certainly been more difficult for me as I’ve adjusted to life during the pandemic. But, it’s not impossible.

Mindfulness, to me, is the gift of presence. You can practice mindfulness when you’re walking, sitting and listening to music, or even doing chores (like washing the dishes). You can use your five senses to bring your attention and focus to the present moment which is the only place in which your body can truly exist.

Why Mindfulness is Hard When Times are Tough

Embracing mindfulness is more difficult when things are rough because when we are under stress our brains do not function as well. Our higher order thinking is halted and more of our base line impulses rise to the surface. Making big, well-informed decisions become more difficult and we focus more on our survival. This is part of the reason why many of us have been panic-buying toilet paper and other supplies.

But, I have to be honest, mindfulness requires a great deal of mental energy. That’s the bad news! But, the good news is mindfulness is also a practice that we get better with over time. As long as you practice mindfulness, you’re going to get better at being in the moment.

How to be More Mindful During the Pandemic

These are trying times and if you find meditation too difficult to do right now because of the focus it requires, that’s OK. It’s not a practice for everyone to begin with and it might be more difficult to do right now as you’re focused on managing your health during a global crisis.

If you do want to try and practice mindfulness more now, try starting VERY small. Try to focus on being present for small moments at a time. The next time you’re outside on a walk pause for a few seconds and just take notice of the world around you. Or when you move from your work from home setup and step into the kitchen or bathroom just take a second to take a breath and ask yourself what you’re feeling. That’s it! Then continue with your day knowing that you’ve practiced being mindful.

The more you engage in these brief moments of presence, you train your brain to be more conscious of the moment you’re in. Try it for just a moment at first and as you get better and more consistent with those check-ins, try it for a little longer. Aim for 30 seconds at a time, then try for longer over time. There will be times when it’s easier than others and that’s OK. You don’t have to become a guru in the middle of a pandemic. Maybe just being more mindful is good enough.

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I’ve been pretty angry lately, mostly because I think that we’re not doing enough to take care of each other.

We know that this time is incredibly unsettling. Corona has changed almost all aspects of our lives, and very quickly. This spikes our stress levels and induces panic. We all seek out different ways to cope and process what’s going on. Sometimes we don’t make the best choices in doing so.

When I saw these families on the playgrounds (which are clearly closed in NYC), it made me realize that a lot of my anger recently has centered on many people missing, in my opinion, the most important message of these times – we’re in this together.

Corona is a universal experience, and at the same time it isn’t at all. Poor, Black and Brown folks and communities without access to adequate medical care will bear the brunt of this virus. Other communities will have lower mortality rates and less economic impact. Those are ways in which this virus challenges us differently, but our risk is generally similar. And this seems to be what many folks are losing sight of.

I think the most important message we can take away right now is compassion for our fellow humans (and living beings).

Everyone is adjusting. Many are ill. Some are dying. Why would we not continue to undertake recommended precautions when we’re able to? Why put your kids (and other kids) at risk by going on a playground which hasn’t been disinfected?

There’s so much we don’t know about this virus but what I do know is that many more of us can survive and recover if we really support each other. If we can be mindful of others and show them the caution and care that we have for ourselves then we can flatten the curve and minimize the loss that many of us are experiencing.

It’s the only way.

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Join us and share your thoughts with us! Please send feedback to us directly @vivawellnessnyc, @rachelgersten and @jorelcaraballo on Twitter and Instagram. And please leave a rating and review on iTunes. Thanks for listening!

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Accept the Current Reality

What we’re facing right now is stressful and anxiety-producing on many levels. The disruption to our daily lives is unprecedented for most of us. It can wreak havoc on our mental health.

As difficult as it is to accept, that’s precisely the first step in adjusting to this new state of affairs. Just think about it…if you can’t accept your current reality how can you effectively manage yourself, and your relationship, effectively?

This idea of acceptance of the new normal is something that Rachel and I discussed in an episode of the Viva Wellness podcast.

Treat Each Other with Kindness

If you don’t have the luxury of getting alone time at work (at a different location) these days then the reality is that you’re much more likely to step on your partner’s toes and vice versa. It’s normal to get irritated with each other more easily during times of containment, quarantine or whatever you want to call it.

That means that you’re likely going to be more aggravated and annoyed now with your partner than you normally would. You have less contact with other people to bounce ideas off of and now you’re likely spending a lot more concentrated time together than normal. It’s a good idea to keep in mind that you’re both trying to do your best to adjust to very difficult circumstances. All you can do is both try your best to give each other the benefit of the doubt, take a step back, and treat each other with some extra kindness.

But Also Find Space When You Can!

That being said, if you do have the option to take some space from one another then that’s a great idea! If you don’t feel the need to, then no problem. Just try to listen to yourself closely and be honest about what your own needs are. There’s no harm in taking a little bit of time to yourself.

Practically, that might be very difficult especially if you are in actual quarantine or self-isolation. If your inside space is limited you can think about getting outside of your immediate space such as going into a different room (hopefully with a door that closes!) or outside altogether if you can manage it.

If you can’t get outside then try to envelop yourself into a psychological cocoon. Grab a good book and/or pop in some headphones with soothing music to help you mentally escape to a different world. During these times every little bit helps.

Check in With One Another

Now is as good a time as any to actually pause and reconnect with one another (if you’re not completely sick of the sight of each other altogether). As a therapist, I often hear that one thing that makes relationships difficult is finding time to actually reconnect and maintain the kind of intimacy that was created in the early stages of the relationship. This is a challenge for a lot of couples. Many people have competing responsibilities and duties that amount to less and less time devoted to the relationship.

Now that you have more concentrated time together, it could be helpful to spend some time just reconnecting. It might help you get back to the reasons that you chose to share your life with this person. Play games together, start reading a book together, have more sex, etc. And if you’re looking to do an in-depth relationship assessment this quiz will help provide a good starting point to reflect and open the doors for more communication.

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