Being able to shift our perspective towards a more positive bend is helpful. This shift serves a functional purpose to keep us moving forward. This is helpful, of course, but we should also not be shaming all the “not so good feelings” we’re experiencing right now. Sadness, panic, fear, hopelessness and grief are all appropriate responses to what’s happening.

But, sometimes we need a mental break from those feelings. We need some other perspectives to keep us going. Here are 8 affirmations I’ve been spending time with over the past few weeks. I hope you find them helpful.

This is not normal and it’s OK that I’m not acting normal.

Try not to internalize the gaslighting that’s happening on the news. This is an unprecedented global issue and trying to be ‘normal’ is an unreasonable expectation right now. Plus, normal has always been overrated.

I am doing the best I can.

We can only do what we can right now. Maybe that means being productive, maybe it doesn’t. All that actually matters is that you’re trying your best.

Creating helps me feel in control.

When so much of our lives feels out of control and uncertain, taking control and creating anything: an experience, playlist or puzzle, can be grounding.

I don’t have to feel guilty for having the resources I do have.

It’s OK to have enough resources to be OK during this time. If you have more than you need, consider how you might help support others if you want – whether that’s emotionally or financially. Either way, having right now doesn’t mean that you can’t feel good about how fortunate you are.

It’s OK for me to experience joy and other positive emotions during this time.

There is no one right way to feel during a pandemic. Relish the moments of joy and ease that you do have. You’re allowed to feel good and hopeful.

There is no right way to survive the pandemic.

We’re all doing the best we can to survive. This may not look like your normal way of being and that’s OK. Extend yourself the grace of flexibility and adaptability.

Taking care of myself helps me better take care of others.

Running yourself into the ground and taking nonessential risks is not helpful to your wellbeing. Taking care of yourself allows you to be more present for others.

Being productive is not a sign of personal worth.

It’s OK if you don’t have the capacity to work extra hard, start a new business or learn a new language. Productivity was never an indicator of worth and still shouldn’t be.

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But how much of what you’ve heard is actually true?

I’ve never been great at making physical art. I have a lot of respect for people who can draw or create things with their hands despite it not being a strong suit of mine. But, like many kids I always liked coloring. I liked the structure and the rules of it…it’s also just came with no pressure.

Fast forward a few decades and now adult coloring books have become this large wellness trend in mental health. Not only do they bring back that childhood nostalgia but apparently there are many health benefits of coloring that we didn’t quite know about as kids.

Adult coloring, such as with mandalas (where it seems the practice began), helps you live in the present moment and be less stressed. It is also supposed to help you feel less anxious as well.

What the Research Actually Says About the Health Benefits of Coloring

The good news is that the reported health benefits of coloring are true! Coloring as a practice helps reduce stress and anxiety overall. But, there have been some surprising conclusions.

First, the research (or at least what I’ve come across so far) has found that there is no any substantial difference between coloring in your adult Golden Girls Book or simply free-drawing (e.g. doodling). The biggest difference was found between coloring things like the Golden Girls coloring book and traditional mandalas. People reported less stress and anxiety with mandalas over other mediums, suggesting there’s something to the more traditional practice that is more restorative or mindful.

Additionally, research tells us that coloring in a group setting with a licensed art therapist is much more potent than going at it alone. That is, you get an even bigger health boost when you have an encouraging therapist in a soothing group atmosphere.

But, don’t expect too much of adult coloring. It’s not a catch-all treatment for mental health issues. The research states that adult coloring can help reduce what we call “state” anxiety which is essentially day-to-day or moment specific anxiety, rather than “trait” anxiety which is a lot more stable in people over time. That means that if you’re having a tough day and feeling stressed or anxious then adult coloring will likely do the trick, BUT if you regularly deal with increased anxiety and may struggle with an anxiety condition then you may not feel the same sense of relief or comfort from the practice.

For me, I also see adult coloring as a mindfulness practice that allows me to not look at my phone or emails and be present with creating (even if it is a silly picture of a very rare brown panda on Instagram). And that for me, is enough. I periodically use an app called Colorfy to enjoy the practice which also allows me to save paper and trees which I’m always down for.

As you can see, the health benefits of coloring are great, but limited in scope. If you’d like to enjoy a break from the normal stresses of the world and create, it’s a good thing to add to your regular wellness regimen. But, if you’re looking for a way to beat your anxiety, adult coloring likely isn’t the only way to go. Your best bet is to contact a therapist to work closely with in development a treatment plan tailored for you.

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Many of us have been there.

It’s not a fun place to be. Dealing with anxiety, whether you have a diagnosable condition or not, is tough. Anxiety can be debilitating at times. Ongoing rumination and worry only exacerbates the problem leading to symptoms like difficulty sleeping, uneasiness and lower productivity.

But, what if there was a simple solution that could help you work through those concerns the next day. Well…there is!

The key to problem solving is to think smaller, not bigger.

I once attended a training from a psychologist on helping clients deal with anxiety. The psychologist provided us with a simple, yet effective technique that I’ve talked to clients about ever since. It’s problem solving.

I know that sounds super simple, maybe even too simple. But sometimes the best solutions are very practical and easy to understand. At least, that’s been my experience.

When you’re anxious, your brain actually doesn’t problem solve well. It’s likely because the sympathetic part of your nervous system is flooded with worry. This worry halts your cognitive functioning making it difficult to do even the simplest of tasks.

Simple problem solving is one way to interrupt that process of worry. This will do two things: it will offer you the ability to relax so that you can actually get the rest that you need, AND it will help you feel a lot more in control of your experience while working to solve a problem.

The next time you’re feeling anxious or worried about a problem ask yourself this question:

“What small step can I take in the next 24 hours to positively impact this problem?”

Not solve it, but positively impact it. This ensures that you create a step that is actually accessible in the next day. Too often we get caught up in big, broad steps which leave us feeling even more overwhelmed. Then, your brain is flooded with worry and you simply get “stuck”. And then you’re exhausted from all the worry and unable to move forward. It’s a lose-lose situation.

The next time you find yourself faced with a worry or problem, ask yourself that one simple question and see how quickly your body relaxes and how much easier tackling problems might be.

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A New Way of Telling An Often Unheard Story

Out of the Woods is an incredibly powerful book with an unusual perspective and method of delivery.  It’s a story about a man’s journey with mental health issues. The story follows him throughout stages in his life in which he battles negative thoughts and depression that changes the course of his life. It’s powerful. The story is even more striking as its delivered in a highly detailed graphic novel format.

Even though I was exposed to this book more than a year ago initially, I am still shocked by the authenticity and vulnerability in the story. How often do we get the opportunity to read about men’s experiences with mental health issues? Not often. This is precisely why Out of the Woods is so special. And with its dynamic graphic novel format, the depressive and anxious thoughts come to life in ways that I think hits home with a lot of people.

Out of the Woods is based on a True Story

The story is inspired by the life of its author Brent Williams who faced many challenges in his life. He has dedicated his life to helping support others and showing them that there is light at the end of the proverbial tunnel. His story, represented in this book, shows us that getting help if often complicated and requires battling through guilt, shame and often pride. Williams shows us that getting help isn’t a weakness for any person (or men more specifically), but the path forward to a more fulfilling and peaceful life.

Out of the Woods is a powerful and important book, and in my opinion, long overdue for our conversations on mental health.

You can learn more about Out of the Woods at the website here.

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Time To Revisit an Old Friend

I’ve fallen off the yoga wagon for some time now and I admit it never was a consistent practice of mine to begin with. When I found myself on the cusp of attending a restorative yoga class recently with my friend and business partner Rachel, I found myself both excited and nervous (or nerve-scited as I like to say).

I have forgotten the names of many poses and didn’t feel confident in my ability to be the perfect yoga student, but I went anyway. And I’m glad I did.

Restorative yoga as it turns out, was a great way for me to get back into yoga slowly. With a nagging, yet sporadic, back injury and having gotten older (and less flexible and heavier) I knew I wasn’t ready for the average yoga class. First I needed to get to know my body again in this way. After all, yoga is a really unique way of movement.

With my courage in tow, and a comrade by my side, I took the class. Soon I realized that restorative yoga wasn’t about being the strongest or most flexible (and as the lone guy in a class of women I knew I wouldn’t be!). Restorative yoga is about creating a space to come back to one’s self physically and spiritually. It was just what I needed to be honest.

Being Aware of & Working Through Discomfort

We made our way through a few poses, very slowly and carefully. I felt inflexible, sore, self-conscious and anxious. Fortunately, we also had the great opportunity to have a sound bath in the midst of our practice which was so incredibly healing. I remember shedding a few tears of worry and anxiety about being busy, feeling stressed and overwhelmed with plans moving forward. I felt a release. I gained clarity and a renewed sense of peace and focus. Consider me restored!

It wasn’t until that moment that I knew how much stress I had really been carrying emotionally and physically. Sometimes it takes us steeping outside of our comfort zones to really check-in in a much deeper way.

And therein lies the lesson, I think. We may often find ourselves living in a routine on autopilot on most days. Life kind of demands that of you. But what you don’t realize is that in order to really be present with ourselves, we must slow down and take a moment to reflect. Sometimes that moment can be taken while doing something familiar, but I find more often than not that some challenge, some novelty or difference, can be a quick way to unlock what’s going on with you and help you learn what you really need.

So switch it up. Go out, try something new and be brave, even in the smallest of ways. You never know what’s on the other side of that discomfort.

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Distortion (dih-stawr-shuh n.) – The act of giving a misleading account or impression.

Thought distortions are unfortunately a part of our existence. These horribly efficient, and disruptive, ways of thinking about things often begin with us in a period of suffering. But, we don’t have to continue to be plagued by their existence forever. As with many things, once we become aware of these thought distortions we can work through them and go on to live healthier, and more peaceful lives.

Thought Distortions Are Often Formed Following Trauma

I subscribe to the idea that most of us are born with a generally neutral thought palate. Over time, as we experience different aspects of life we develop our own world views. Unfortunately, it seems that we may be hard-wired for negative thinking and therefore more prone to developing distorted thoughts than I would like.

We all experience various forms of trauma or stress in our lives. From failures at school or work, to losing a loved one and surviving violence (and everything in-between), we experience pain and hurt. Our brains, being the wonderful and efficient machines they are, can often develop thought distortions, or ways of viewing the world and ourselves that are not entirely accurate. These distortions, in those immediate moments of pain, help us make sense of the world. These distortions help us also cope with the part of ourselves that would seemingly “allow” such painful events to occur. Unfortunately, these distortions are insidious and often contribute to a variety of mental health conditions such as Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Major Depression, among others.

5 Common Thought Distortions

Any one can experience any or all of these thought distortions. Depending on which mental health professional you ask, there are generally about 10 or 11 that most people subscribe to, but some people think there are as many as 20+.  Here I present to you five of the thought distortions that I encounter most often:

Catastrophizing

If you’ve ever heard someone comment that you “jump to conclusions” then catastrophizing might be one of your hallmark thought distortions. As the name suggests, catastrophizing means that you assume the worst is going to happen in any given situation.

Many times catastrophizing may look like experiencing some negative event, or slight, and not being able to see any explanation other than the worst case scenario. For instance, let’s say you schedule a date with someone new and unfortunately, you wait and wait at the restaurant until you realize you’ve been stood up. You may catastrophize by thinking that you will never go on a date again and you’re destined to live a life of loneliness.

Mental Filtering

Mental filtering can be difficult to discern, especially as it most often requires someone else to point out to you the points that you have missed. Essentially, it relies on the psychological principle of confirmation bias, which means that we often look for details that confirm our hypothesis in a given situation. With mental filtering, there are positive signs that you end up ignoring or filtering out, often because they do not act in accordance with your decidedly negative viewpoint.

For example, you might be talking with your professor about your research and they give you several points of feedback. They compliment you on your procedures, your data collection and other parts of your work. They also mention that your written conclusion or summary needs some re-writing. After your meeting, you end up pretty upset and worry about the negative feedback the rest of the day (if not longer). You have filtered out the positives and only paid attention to the one negative piece of feedback in the situation. This can often lead to ongoing worry and rumination, which are well-known precursors to anxious and depressive states.

Personalization

If you’ve ever struggled with self-esteem or confidence issues, then you may find personalization a familiar thought distortion.  Personalization means that you take an incident, seemingly unrelated to you or your behavior, and make it about you. In most instances that I’ve witnessed, this means that you blame yourself for something bad happening when there is little to no chance that you actually contributed to the problem.

For example, let’s say you’re driving your car down a street and notice a yellow light. You’re close enough to the intersection so you think you can make it through safely, and you do. The car behind you tries to the same but ends up in a fender bender in the intersection that you just passed through. You feel guilty. In reaction, you personalize the incident and think, “If I hadn’t rolled through the yellow then they would have HAD to stop. They probably wouldn’t have hit the other car.” In this instance, personalization ignores the reality that each driver must proceed safely irrespective of what others around them are doing.

Emotional Reasoning

As it sounds, emotional reasoning is a very powerful thought distortion in that it relies on your internal emotional experience as the truth in a situation. The distortion is the assumption that your internal feeling reflects the reality of the circumstances at hand. This can be particularly insidious if you struggle with anxiety, worry or depression.

For example, you wake up one day and realize that you fell asleep early the night before and forgot to place a return call to your friend. You wake up the next morning feeling incredible guilt and feel like a horrible friend. You assume that your friend does now, in fact, think of you as a terrible friend and doesn’t want to talk to you at all. In reality, your friend might be annoyed at you but very well may be happy to pick up the conversation the next day without much worry or anger.

Black or White (All or Nothing) Thinking

Another thought distortion that I frequently encounter in my work is black-or-white thinking. This distortion relies on the premise that a person may automatically categorize something as either-or, and have difficulty acknowledging the many shades of gray that we encounter regularly in everyday life.  

With black-or-white thinking, a person may not be able to hold ambiguity well and may see anything other than a complete success as a failure. A common example of this is coming in 2nd place in a race and thinking that you are a complete failure, when the reality is that you performed extraordinarily well beating out many other competitors.

How to Work Through Thought Distortions

We all struggle with thought distortions from time to time as they are not just relegated to those living with mental illness. Nonetheless, why present challenges without solutions, right?!

As a therapist and wellness coach one of the things that I work closely with a lot of clients on is challenging your assumptions.  This is the most powerful and useful way to correct distorted thoughts. It’s a simple process, but not often easy.

For many of us, these thought distortions reflect long-held beliefs and thinking patterns. Sometimes they have been formed after some relational or physical trauma. As a result, these thoughts can become part of us and crystallized in our minds, so to speak. That means that the work of challenging assumptions is arduous. I wouldn’t recommend going at it alone as it is tricky territory and can often lead to developing other distorted thoughts, often in a well-intentioned effort to just be overwhelmingly positive. That’s not healthy either. Working with a licensed mental health provider in therapy to do the work of re-programming, as I often call it, will help you emerge on the other side more capable of appropriately addressing your thoughts, and finding healthy ways to cope with the resulting worry, anxiety or depressive feelings.

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Mindfulness meditation helps better your brain

Most often when professionals talk about the benefits of mindfulness meditation, they focus on the psychological and emotional benefits (which are great!). But, meditation also impacts the physiology of your brain.

Research has shown us that daily meditation helps better preserve the brain over time. As we age, we lose brain functioning. However, a study has demonstrated that those who meditated regularly had noticeably less loss than those who did not practice mindfulness meditation.  Mindfulness meditation can actually help preserve your brain and help it change for the better over time.

Research also indicates that those who practice meditation decrease brain cell volume in the amygdala. This is the center of the brain responsible for fear and anxiety. By practicing meditation you gain greater self-control AND literally change the structure of the brain responsible for your anxious and fearful feelings.

Meditation reduces the impact of stress

One of the biggest benefits of meditation is that it helps reduce the impact of stress. Researchers at Harvard University had participants practice mindfulness meditation and found that those who meditated displayed greater grey matter in the hippocampus, a part of the brain responsible for memory, learning, compassion and self-awareness. The results were demonstrated by brain scans at the end of an 8 week mindfulness-based stress reduction program.

The results indicated that practicing mindfulness meditation can help improve your ability to learn and retain information. It also helps reduce overall stress, as well as promote personal development. Meditation helps people better regulate their emotions, which can lead to better outcomes in personal, romantic and work relationships.

Mindfulness Meditation works as a treatment

In addition to having positive effects on stress, mindfulness meditation is helpful in treating anxiety and depression. While more research needs to be done on the benefits of meditation, a large analysis of 47 different research trials with over 3500 participants revealed that mindfulness meditation can produce similar results to antidepressant medication. And, that is without any real negative side effects. That makes mindfulness meditation a powerful tool in treating longstanding anxiety and depression.

Meditation helps you take care of your body

As a practice, meditation also has a lot of benefits for our bodies as well. Regular meditation practice is associated with lower blood pressure, lower cortisol (stress hormone) levels, less risk of heart disease, better blood circulation and less stress. In addition, people who meditate also report feeling more at ease or happier overall.

With all of these benefits, it stands to reason that mindfulness meditation and mindfulness-based stress reduction has fallen into favor. If you are interested in developing your own mindfulness based practice, contact a mindfulness coach who can help you harness the benefits to better your quality of life.

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