When is the right time to help? Very similarly to how there’s no right way to help, there’s no right time to help either. If only there was an app that could tell you the most optimal time to be there for your friend, like there’s an app that tells us the best time to post on Instagram.
We go out of our way to help those we love when they’re having a hard time. Or at least, that’s the goal, right?
You bring over wine after your friend’s break-up. When your brother is frustrated at work, you know to take him out to his favorite restaurant. You check in on your significant other during their “dark day” – on the anniversary of the loss of their grandmother. If all of those sound like you, you’re a pretty awesome and compassionate person. Way to go.
But that’s all after the fact. That’s after someone is having a hard time. They’re in the middle of the dark cloud, and it’s a pretty terrible time. They 100% need (and deserve!) support, but why are we waiting until then to reach out to someone?
The truth is, life is hard.
It’s pretty challenging to be a person on an average day, let alone when shit really hits the fan and you’re going through something that’s life changing. What’s stopping us from helping each other before we get to that point?
I think a lot of us are in the mindset of responding to a situation, rather than preventing it. We know how to get in there and be the best support system ever, but only after someone’s in crisis. I don’t think most of us feel like we have the power to prevent someone from being really overwhelmed – but don’t we?
What if we made it a point to give that extra support, even if nothing was wrong?
Take a minute, and think about how you’d feel if your best friend brought over your favorite ice cream, just because. Think about how you’d feel if your mom told you how much you meant to her, just because she was thinking of you. No reason, no special occasion, but just because being a person is hard and we could all use a little boost.
Would you feel happy? Calmer? Stronger? It’d be pretty great, right?
Go out and support the people in your life as much as you can before they really need it. Let’s avoid those really bad days as much as we can.
No one will ever be able to stop the hard things from happening, but it’d be a lot easier if we were all in a better place when they come at us.
Author: Rachel
Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. If she’s not running, you’ll find her planning the next time she’s going to eat, exploring all things wellness in NYC, or raising her stress level by watching her sports teams.
