A few weeks ago, I saw a post on Twitter for an article with a title that said something along the lines of “It’s okay to serve store bought eggnog to a party”. I know, right? Just when you thought you were done hearing about anything related to the holiday season, here I am talking about eggnog.
I read the article, but not because I have any interest in eggnog.
I actually think it’s gross. It caught my eye because I couldn’t believe that this was a problem. Apparently it’s not just a problem, but enough of a widespread problem that prompted this article to even be written. The author clearly thought that there would be enough of a audience riddled with anxiety and/or guilt for not making their holiday party eggnog from scratch. WHO KNEW.
Maybe eggnog is super important to you when you’re hosting a holiday party. That’s cool, but I think the eggnog enthusiasts are in the minority. Under most circumstances, eggnog is completely arbitrary. And yet, we have a piece of writing dedicated to telling you that it’s okay if it’s store bought. This struck me as a symptom of a larger problem.
We’re making life too hard.
Don’t get me wrong, life (and being a person) is a serious challenge. The amount of things that we have to, or could have to, deal with throughout the course of a day is pretty mind blowing. I know I can’t spend a lot of mental energy on all the big, scary “what ifs” or else I won’t get out of the bed in the morning. But eggnog? Eggnog isn’t on that list.
Since there really are so many things that will cause stress, why aren’t we eliminating those that don’t need to take up that much space in our minds?
Sometimes the little things are really big things.
I say to clients all the time that it’s the “why” rather than the “what”. If something seemingly minor bothers you, that’s fine. You go ahead and be upset about a holiday party drink if that’s how you feel. But ask yourself why. Maybe it’s symbolic for you. If so, great. I’m not here to tell you what should be significant – and no one else should either. But what if you can’t come up with a meaningful “why”? Then let it go.
It’s so easy to get caught up in the little things just because they’re there.
A story that’s always fun for me to tell is the time my partner in crime, Jor-El, told me that I spend too much time focusing on details that don’t really matter. I scoffed and told him I had no idea what he was talking about. A couple of days later, I sent him this paragraph long text with the pros and cons of a 7pm dinner reservation versus one at 7:30. “This, by the way” was his response. Ah. Okay. Got it.
I will always be a person who remembers and pays attention to the details, but it was a helpful reminder to take a step back and recognize that some things actually don’t matter. Or at least the amount that they matter doesn’t match the amount of energy we’re putting into them.
If you’re like me and are adamant that it matters if you eat at 7 compared to 7:30, try to take a step back every once in a while and ask yourself if it really does make a difference either way.
Sometimes the answer will be yes!
And that’s fine. Put your energy into that yes. But some things can be let go, and since we only have so much energy and mental capacity in the day, it’s a great skill to learn to recognize what those things are.
Some details are important and meaningful. Some are store bought versus homemade eggnog. The goal is to learn to recognize the difference.
Author: Rachel
Rachel is a licensed therapist and co-founder of Viva Wellness. She gets most of her inspiration for the blog while on the run, and if you ever need to find her, she’s probably in Central Park. If she’s not running, you’ll find her planning the next time she’s going to eat, exploring all things wellness in NYC, or raising her stress level by watching her sports teams.
