Owning Your “Flaws”

We all have things about us that aren’t… great. Whenever I do a presentation on positive self talk/self image, I have participants do an exercise in which they list five things they like about themselves and five things they don’t. No one has trouble with the second list. We all are VERY aware of those things we’re not supposed to love about ourselves. In all honesty, that’s okay (at least to a point!). We can’t love everything about ourselves, because everyone has flaws. No one’s perfect, as that old saying goes.

But what if you accepted your flaws?

Note: I did not say love, or even like them. I said accepted, as in acknowledged that they’re there and that it’s fine. Even that, though, is a difficult concept for a lot of us. Aren’t we supposed to hate that we’re never on time or can’t answer e-mails in a timely manner? Isn’t it a HUGE problem that you can never remember birthdays?

Well, who says it is?

It doesn’t make a whole lot of sense if you think about it. We know no one’s perfect. We know everyone has flaws. And yet, you’re not allowed to acknowledge that yours exist? Why are we so embarrassed of having something that everyone else around us has also? I’m not embarrassed that I have eyebrows (which, in case you missed the point, is also something everyone has).

It’s okay to own your flaws.

I’m opinionated and I take up a lot of space. I feel strongly about a lot of things. I like to plan and control situations. Sometimes I try to help people who didn’t ask to be helped. I could continue, but you get the point. There might even be some people reading this who don’t think they sound like flaws. I feel like my husband and closest friends and family would disagree with you. Clearly you’ve never had me insert my opinion when you did not, in fact, ask for it. Those are all reasons why someone could not like me, and they all HAVE been reasons why someone hasn’t liked me. But it is what it is. That’s who I am. In addition to all the qualities that allow me to have loved ones, I also have those that make them roll their eyes. We all do.

You can work on yourself and grow, but you’ll never be perfect.

Self improvement is amazing. I’m all for it. But you’ll always have flaws. There will always be something that makes your closest friend secretly (or not so…) want to scream. There will be parts of you that other people love, and the parts that they love you in spite of. That’s not just you, that’s all humans.

So why are you fighting something that won’t change?

Own and accept your flaws. You might be stubborn, but maybe you’re also the kindest person anyone’s ever met. Why is the former more important than the latter? It’s not.

It’s okay to accept every part of yourself, even if you’re working towards improving yourself.